The majority of us harbor different approaches to matchmaking and you may close relationships, mostly according to all of our preconceived impression from the way we thought one thing is unfold. Sometimes, clinging as well directly to these relationships looks is limiting, but according to an internet dating specialist, understanding the individuals inclinations lets us finest know our selves and you will possible couples-and maybe show better consequently.

During the newest episode of The new Well+A good Podcast, behavioral researcher turned dating mentor Logan Ury, writer of Just how to Perhaps not Die By yourself and you can director out of matchmaking in the Hinge, detailed the 3 matchmaking inclinations she build: the latest maximizer, the brand new hesitator, as well as the romanticizer.

• Logan Ury, movie director out of relationship science within Depend and you can writer of Simple tips to Perhaps not Pass away Alone: The latest Alarming Science To assist you See Love

" The fresh center tip is the fact certain some one I performs with have unrealistic criterion," she told you from inside the podcast. "Following I classify them based on one to unlikely expectation." The theory is the fact that build of tendencies (or dating appearances) might help people finest discover themselves and you may specific matchmaking viewpoints they keep that perhaps not serve them, as a way to alter their relationships existence.

Continue reading to learn about Ury's three matchmaking tendencies, just how for every single can be limiting, and how she recommend people defeat those constraints. (And to look for their relationships inclination, simply take Ury's relationship interest quiz.)

step 1. Brand new maximizer

They provides unlikely expectations of its lover, Ury states. This could feel like some body waiting one to its mate was in fact way more committed or which they mutual a lot more passions.